The idiots next door have a dog. A pit bull. A very male pit bull. He is not a nice dog. I know that you can raise a pit bull to be a sweet dog; this is not the case. They stick him in the backyard and basically ignore him.

This pit bull can jump his fence. He does so on a regular basis. This is not a fun thing. He hasn't bitten anyone to date, but he is very aggressive. I have a kid. I don't like this dog.

I come home from work this evening and my mother and my kid and the down-on-the-corner neighbor are all on the front porch. The pit bull is in our front yard, barking its fool head off. I told it to fuck off and went in the backdoor. I got the update; dog jumped fence, cornered down-on-the-corner neighbor in his garage, he is now packing his pistol and no one seems to know WTF to do. All I know is that I don't want this damned fool down-on-the-corner neighbor to shoot the stinking dog in front of my kid. I hustle the kid downstairs and then called 911.

911 was already aware of the situation; someone else had called. A moment later, the cop comes around the corner. Stupid ass dog goes after him. Cop gets his shotgun. Down-on-the-corner neighbor is hollering to the cop that he is armed. Back-up arrives.

Amazingly enough, the neighbor who owns the dog has been home this whole time, asleep. The bullhorns come out and she is advised to get her dog and get it inside her house immediately. She appears in the doorway, baffled. Calls the dog, who immediately goes in the house.

Cop comes to our door. Suggests that down-on-the-corner neighbor should not run around with his gun. I couldn't agree more. I point out to the cop that the dog jumps the fence all the stinking time. The cop is highly unamused by his encounter with the dog and tells me that dog-owner neighbor will be getting a visit and a citation from Animal Control, somewhere in the neighborhood of $300. Perhaps this will make her pay more attention to the asshole dog and whether he's penned up properly.

That was my evening.

No, I still haven't explained my identity change, have I? In good time, all in good time. But for the here and now? That name I used to go by? Please don't use it. I know, I know; it sounds terrifically cloak and dagger, doesn't it? Its not. And besides, my best friend has already informed the CIA and the FBI that I do not love the baby Jesus, so...anything else is sure to be a let-down.

More when I have time...

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