Aural Stimuli: nothing
Oral Stimuli: the same as last time
I Hate: so much and so much and so much ...

I am not having fun.

1. Brother came to town to help throwing things out and repairing that which remained in order to prepare for moving and putting house on the market. Brother meets under-age b/f (not really under-age you know). Eventually approves of him, but puts me through hell before that.

2. The drug wars escalate at SBX. Ugly words are being tossed about. I want out.

3. Discovered that the belief I had that I was a geeky, yet happy child shattered when mother cheerfully tells story of how I had to be medicated at 6 and a half because I was so anxious that I vomited in the car every morning going to school. I've been a drugged neurotic my WHOLE DAMNED LIFE!!! I am not amused.

4. Found out that my father probably has emphysema and has had numerous "small" strokes and is most certainly dying. He's made out a will and paid for a funeral. He's also chain-smoking and drinking like a fish. I am fairly pissed off, which I recognize might not be the first reaction you'd expect; but that is exceptionally disturbing.

5. Brother and I hauled out tons of shit from the attic and laundry room, in the process finding all kinds of wonderous stuff from our neurotic childhoods, which depressed the hell out of me.

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And I leave for Maine on Wednesday and I couldn't care less if I tried.

Dammit.

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