Aural Stimuli: RENT soundtrack
Oral Stimuli: cigs, Mtn Dew and one more chocolate chip cookie
I Hate: being unemployed

I am so confused.

My Sainted Mother confuses me. Just a few weeks ago, when the apartment complex I wanted to live in declined me, she came up with a "brilliant notion." This "brilliant notion" was that she would move out in December, into the condo she is purchasing, and the Girl-Child and I would remain here. We could have the whole house to ourselves. Of course, the house will go on the market as soon as possible in 2004, so I'll have to cope with showing the house; but as soon as it sells (springtime, if we're lucky) THEN she can afford to help me move. Isn't that a brilliant fucking notion"?

I didn't think so.

No way am I going to oversee the showing of a house that is not mine. Not bloody likely am I going to keep a house with a six year old Girl-Child and 4 cats spotlessly clean, in case the realtor wants to bring someone by. No, we do not think so. Since her "notion" I've been trying to think of ways to get around it. Hey, it doesn't have to be that particular complex; we can go low-rent. Find some small time operator who is less concerned with credit and more concerned with regular income. Find a job first, obviously. Who would have thought it would be so frikkin hard to find a job? Its not like I'm applying for high-tech positions...anyway.

Tonight, my Sainted Mother says to me; once you find work, we're going back to that complex and tell them that I'm paying the rent and who cares who is paying the rent, as long as someone is. I pointed out that the friend who lives there had the same problem I did and the complex offered the deal that if she paid 6 months rent in advance; that was cool. They even gave her a price break. And my Sainted Mother gets all excited. That's great! We'll do that! And I am baffled. I'm thinking; wait, you couldn't afford to pay mortgages on 2 houses and help me with rent, but now you can write a check for over 3 grand? Work with me, here; what changed?

Oh! The bank lady said she could consolidate both mortgages into one and pay as much or as little as she wanted for the first year. After this house sells, she can re-do the mortgage. I see. News to me! Nothing new there...so maybe I will be moving before the year is out, after all. I have no damned idea.

I just have to find a job...

I'm still baffled, but I suppose I should be baffled in a good way, shouldn't I? I swear, it all just wears me out.

Just saw the b/f out the door. He's out of town for the next 3 days. This is probably a not-bad thing. I have business to attend to. However, I am going to miss him and this irritates me for some stupid reason. I am also convinced that his car will break down because it always does whenever he has to take a business trip. Seriously. Everytime. From January, when we started seeing each other, his car has been in the shop about 6 times. Each time, it died on a business trip. Now, this is a different car and he's already done over a thousand dollars of work on it; but the radiator is a time-bomb and he just didn't have the funds to have that fixed. Fortunately, he doesn't have very far to drive.

It'll break down. I just know it.

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